Posts in Recovery
The Untended Garden: Grief in Real Time

Instead, I squished myself closer that tiny portal window and cried, silently, so other passengers wouldn't notice. I didn't want to return home, but I didn't want to end up anywhere else either. I wanted simply to stop existing in this colorless limbo I've been inhabiting since I lost my family a few months ago.This is my grief. It's quiet, it's gray, and it's fucking boring. Oh, and it feels endless.

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New Year, New You! (Just kidding)

Last year I wrote a blog post I never published about how I'd stopped setting resolutions to transform my body, mind and soul into the equivalent of Gwyneth Paltrow's glowing steamed yoni. Not true. But this year, seriously, I am not transforming. No drastic weight loss, no finished book in 30 days. None of that shit. This year, it's all about the slow, methodical, incremental change that is a gentle life.

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Recovery 101: Sh*t Is ALWAYS Getting Real

I took it all in stride, my arms swinging wide for all to see: Look at me - I got my shit together. But then Life, that cruel goth mistress who likes to stick hooks in her back and hang from the ceiling, let me know who was boss in this joint. Just to be clear, it's her. Not me.

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RecoveryJamieComment
Endorphins Rock! Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Exercise

There's a time and a place for setting a goal and charging headfirst towards it. I will always love a challenge, and that can be a great thing. But when you find yourself lost and adrift in the absence of said challenge--when your two polarized modes of fitness are training with Olympic dedication and binge watching Netflix wondering what's the point of it all--then you know something is out of whack.

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RecoveryNikkiComment
GUEST POST: A Mouthful of Want (On Discovering My Body Again)

[My] guilt was compounded by the fact that, not only was I a woman, but I was a cavernously hungry one. Voraciously, consumingly hungry. For food, for sex, for attention, for everything. My needs felt overwhelming, and my body was suddenly terrifying to me in both its existence and its want. My body had become a problem to be solved.

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